So last day I go to visit this Professor under whom am doing Independent Study (Well, for the uninitiated, Independent Study is a term used in Grad Schools for slave labor where you pay money from your own pocket, and wash the windows of labs, along with doing some occasional research).
So after a 30 minute discussion (well, I accept that the word ‘discussion’ is stretching things a wee bit far- all he was doing was checking his emails, picking his nose and playing with his ipad, while I was speaking) of my “brilliant” idea in quantum cognitive science and how I think this might be the next best thing after canned beer to happen to humanity, he says “ maybe, you do have something there. Come back with more data.” Am like, this is exactly what he told me last time- “Come back with more data”. (As an aside, I did try printing a life sized poster of DATA from star trek in the school’s expensive HP color printer but gave up after the printer complained that am using too much free ink.). But anyways not bad, atleast this time he thinks there is something in my idea- there might be more meat to chew if I try harder. So a wee bit elated am about to exit the room when he says:“Wait, I have an important thing to do with you.”
Am confused. “What exactly does he want from me? Did he realize that I used the left over sulphur dioxide to clean the floors of the lab instead of detergent last week?”. While I was lost in my thoughts, in a quick movement, nothing that I have ever seen from a 65 year old, not even in esoteric youtube videos, he turns around, pulls a camera out of his desk, points it at my face and bhooom (no, he didn't shoot me, you think I would be here writing this if he did? ) snaps a picture of my mouth wide open (Aside: I think Creed actually made a mistake in naming their song “With Arms Wide Open” going by what they show in the song video, the song title should have been “With Mouth Wide Open”. But anyways, that is a topic for another discussion.) agape face. I was almost going to tell him, “Sir, if this is for some new matrimonial/dating site that you are moderating, you might want to take a picture of mine with a smile on my face. Or at least with a closed mouth. Because with this pic all I can think of is it being used as an interesting anatomical study by students from College of Dentistry).
But then a horror thought struck me, “ What if he realized that I was the one who flicked those 2 pencils and 1 eraser from his desk last week? maybe he is actually clicking snapshots to use as mug shots when he hands me over to FBI”. So there am shivering like a leaf, worrying about how my new “room mate” in the slammer is going to be. So shaking all over, I ask him “Sir, why exactly did you click my photograph? “
With a bewildered look on his face , which inherently kinda said “Which unknown planet that lies between pluto and neptune are you from,” he blurts out the following, as if its the most obvious thing in the world: “See, there are hundreds of morons like you who keep coming through that door daily saying they are doing research under me. I am old, and I can't remember any of your faces,left alone your names. At Least if I take a picture of yours I can create a hash table mapping between your face, name and what you are doing right?”
Am like: “WTF? so not only did you not listen to what I was saying for the last 30 mins, you don't even know who I am?. Worst, all your statements of “maybe you do have something there” and “get more data” was just a rhetoric that you tell to everyone who comes through that door?????”
#GradLifeWoes
Good one Mithun!
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